It's the best.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Tell Me You Wouldn't Watch This Fuckin Shit

Cherboi Christian Blunda skillfully drafted up a cover for my next high-impact blockbuster thrillride conceptual movie phenomenon. I think it is ready to be pitched to some of those smooth operatin' hollywood execs out there. They haven't seen action like this since Dollman Vs. The Demonic Toys. Hold on to your ponytails motherfuckers because 2008 is the summer of....

Get the fuck back.

Malone Vs. Orca


Watching Malone.....Alone

Man this was good. Last night I decided to take it easy and watch an action movie. Luckily I had bought Malone for 70 cents at Stuff. Man this was good.
I can't stop thinking about Burt Reynolds moustache in this movie. It should have been billed 2nd on the end credits. Im serious. If you can get a hold of this movie: do it. It's the best.
Check out the first real fight scene between Burt Reynolds and some fat dude. First of all Malone never drops the 100% action face. Secondly, he utilizes the ultimate fighting move: the double ear slap. Seriously though, watch this in slow motion. Its the best.
Lemme give you a brief what's up:
Malone is an aging CIA assassin who is getting tired of all the killing. He tries to quit the company, but the company won't quit him. So he burns all his ID cards (there is alot of fire in this movie) and drives away in his hot-rod car. Then some shit goes down.
Maybe you can find it on youtube, I havent checked yet, I assume they block me from that site here at work. His hair is PERFECT.
BUT, all of this is irrelevant because all you really need to do is find a picture of the VHS sleeve for this movie on google images to know how hard this will rock you. It is Malone grimacing with a shotgun in front of a giant explosion that covers the whole rest of the box.
This will give you a little taste for the ending of this movie. Epic.
Jesus Christ.
Also, if you get a chance, check out the VHS cover for a movie called ORCA. It's about a killer killer whale I assume. I have yet to see it, but I can't get enough of the cover. Damn.

Me and my buddy Matt Patren discovered these 2 movies while bored at a Hollywood Video in Escondido back in 98. We didn't rent them but we laughed at the covers for about an hour or so. A year and a half later we did get around to watching Food of the Gods, but I'll save that for another time.

Rubik's Cubicle

First day of work where I actually have a computer. I feel like I'm being watched though. I think I might be too paranoid to try to be funny. Every time I hear a noise I hit the alt-tab. My cubicle is right next to the damn door. This is a government job you know: that means serious business. I was told I would only get fired if I looked at porn all day for 10 days in a row. Good thing they weren't watching me in the summer of 96!