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Friday, July 27, 2007

Breaking the Law

Greetings Earthlings......

So last night I got REAL drunk....AGAIN. Let's begin from the beginning....
So Pure Goldman tells me about a free taco if you ride yer bike to Porque No. Did that shit after work and ate a free taco. It was good. Then I borrowed his neon yellow helmet and went and got a free slice at Pizza-a-GoGo (free slice on the condition that you bike there and show yer helmet). So all in all: free dinner. BUTT... I got a call from Lindsay Kavka (she's in town fer a couple weeks) telling me that if I want to make it to Simpsons trivia night, I gotta be at 34th and Belmont by 7 sharp and no cell phones. So I had to eat my slice o' pizza while riding my bike down Vancouver so I could make it in time to return Goldman's neon helmet, go to my house, take a shit, change my shirt, and bike 15 minutes to the spot. Needless to say I made it.
Also needless to say we tore it up on trivia, plus I finally got to put my German degree to use (two German related questions...). Anyways we actual sucked, we got 3rd to last. Butt whatever.
So then I run into Nick Barbaree and when Lindsay and crew leave (she had to work at Starbucks at 4 am...) I kick it with Nick and his buds from South Dakota (not from Rapid City though, I soon discovered). I am on beer 6 or so at this point.
Party moves to Beulahland where I have #s 7,8,9 or so. I am stuck between two conversations at this point, thinking about nothing in particular. I also ran into Tony Larson's cousin essy, she had just been catering food to nerds at a sci-fi convention. Why isnt that my job? Anyways, she apparently fergot her ID so she got kicked out, and told me she'd be hangin' outside. I of course fergot about that and drank more beers. Never saw her again.
Anyways cut to the chase, we walk over to Chopsticks and I immediately put in Breaking the Law for karaoke, there was a time crunch and I didnt feel like stressin'.
Shit, this is stupid. Butt anyways I act a fool, do powerslides, high-kicks, lots of pointing, air guitar, head-bashing against wall, wrong lyrics, and then top it off by dunking the mic in the Tip Jar and yelling: SCREAM FOR ME PORTAL-LAND.....
Then I walk straight from the stage to my bike and go home without saying bye to anyone (including Laura Likeman who is moving) and her posse. I'm an asshole.
When I got home Christian was getting bangs on the front stoop.


Blauth said...

i shit you not, just as sure as i'm alive i saw rob halford on the mean streets of hillcrest yesterday. he was talking to some p.r. chick. i stood there gawking for a moment, and then went off home because i couldn't think of anything to ask him. i should have just screamed "stand, fight for exciter!" across the road and run away giggling.

The Hound of Love said...

Damn, you shoulda said something. Although, it is pretty tuff on the spot like that. The lesson here is: be prepared. Next time you see him try some of these options:

I'm your turbo lover!
Grinder! Looking for meat!
Ram it down!
I wanna go! Hot Rockin'!

...then you run home giggling.

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